expression of thoughts: July 2004

Saturday, July 31, 2004

change of schedules

i changed my working schedules today...swopped with a fellow colleague and got approval from my boss. now i am working 1-10pm from wed-fri! it's like so diff from my friends..well...somehow my social life is like reduced to a tiny bit with such a schedule...perhaps it's a blessing in disguise that i am not attached now..coz if i have a bf, i think he cannot stand my schedule!! haha..i mean seriously..will feel bad abt not spending time with him too..hmm..so for a single like me with this schedule...still quite ok yah..hehe..the main reason i changed the schedule is coz i have swimming in the morning!! yup yup, i had a phobia of water (as in swimming) since young so now decided to overcome the fear. besides that, it is also good for health =)

haiz..but an impact of the schedule will meant that i can no longer serve as an usher on Thurs's bible study..feel sad abt it..but well, have to set my priorities. i wld want to serve out of love, not out of duty..get it??

talking abt serving, it has been almost 8 mths since i started serving! time really flies! i look forward to it, though sometimes it can be quite tiring...from serving as an usher in church, i learnt alot..esp relationship management...diff people have diff personalities..there are days when i meet really nice members of the congregation...of coz there are some really annoying ones..i mean come on, humans are not perfect yah. christians doesn't mean perfec people..we still have our tempers...but believe in Christ that we are growing from glory to glory! amen!!

*listening to: nothing! just the wind blowing into my room*

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

wish i was in Thailand

had my half day today, went with Liyan to esplanade and one fullerton to take pictures in my academic gown. Liyan just came back from Thailand. Went there for 5 weeks for a field studies module. I was supposed to go, but pulled out last minute....felt heartbroken that i couldn't go..but no choice..have other priorities that needed my attention. been waiting for almost a year for this field studies module *sighz* perhaps i wld be able to join the Geography Dept next year and hopefully, i will be able to go.

it's a rare chance to go on such trips, not the usual, mass packaged tours but more of an educational trip into the 'ulu' areas of Thailand. staying with the hill tribes, understanding their way of life and most of all, interpreting the landscape from a geographical perspective. oh how i miss school! i saw the photos that liyan uploaded online, so beautiful!! esp the natural landscapes of the countryside, sp pristine and tranquil. beautiful works of God! other pics depicted the living standards of the Arkha people. looking at those pics really make me appreciate what i have around me more.

the last time i was in thailand was when i was 16 years old, a school trip. that was more of a mass packaged trip, not so educational. hmm....if i ever got a chance to go on such 'rough it out' trips like the field studies module, i would say 'YES!!' i think it is a good chance for me to break out of my own comfort zone and to assess how i am able to survive in a non-urban environment. i always wanted to travel, the only limitations are money and getting mummy's approval. the latter is much harder. she's always thinking that anywhere outside Singapore is unsafe etc..i wld say..over-protective. frabkly, i am the more rebellious kind. i know that she's concerned abt me but I need to grow up!! as in the more she constrains me, the less chances for me to get in touch with the outside world! as what the chinese always say, ' chi pang zhang ying le, xiang fei le'. in english, it simply says that, a person wld like to 'fly away' once he/she feels independent to do so. my opinion is that of course!! if a person is independent enough, do take the chance and explore otherwise it is you at the losing end. frankly, i wld not mind to relocate myself at other places if there's a chance. i am quite adaptable to change in places.

*listening to: 'Singin in the Rain' by Gene Kelly from the musical 'Singin In The Rain'

Saturday, July 24, 2004

I am in LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

with strawberries that is...haha what are u thinking of?? =P yupz i am in love with strawberries these days. recently, a newspaper article, i think it is in Sunday Times said that strawberries is a type of fruit that we shd eat frequently. they taste really great! for me, i can't eat strawberries just like that, as in they need to be cut into quarters. certain foods are best to be eaten in small quantities at a time. and oh! i oove to eat them chilled!! *drools* so yummy! by the way, i just eaten a packet of strawberry pocky biscuits..hehe...i am like so crazy over it loh

went to toys' r us 2 days ago during lunch break. bought 3 packets of different japanese cookies that has strawberries in them..spent like $12..haha..first time i spent so much on cookies...hee.., i think they are less fattening than chocolates yah..hehhehe

now got craving for fresh strawberries...dun have them in the fridge!! =S ,aybe i buy them in carrefour tomorrow morning after church..hee..

okies..need to go, serving first 2 services tomorrow..which means i have to wake up at 5.45am!!!!!

*listening to: 'Give Me A Reason' by The Corrs

Friday, July 23, 2004

graduated!!

was uploading my graduation photos just now and it dawned upon me that 3 years have passed so quickly! i can still remember vividly my first day in NUS, seems as if it was yesterday only. i entered NUS alone, most of my JC mates went to NIE or private unis. so was quite lonely when i entered uni. on top of that, i stayed in hostel during my first year . initially, i was like 'that's it, going to be without friends in uni'. well, i convinced myself later on that if i am not going to reach out and make new friends, it wld be a really depressing academic life in NUS..

indeed i did reach out and make friends, some of whom are my closest uni pals from NUS Geog Soc. the FOC was the breaking pt...i will be the one introducing myself to others loh..hehe..looking back, i really wonder where i get my courage from...=) now, i feel nostalgic abt the years spent in NUS. esp those moments when i was in Geog Soc, planning for the events..hehe...stayed in the old geog soc room at AS1 till late nights sometimes. going to Foong Seng to eat nasi lemak and prata.haha..small things like going for lunch together, reserving whole row of seats during Geog lectures (coz of friends from Geog Soc who take the same modules together), taking the forever-crowded shuttle buses etc... precious memories. and of coz not forgetting the 'term paper period' where all of us are stressed over the submission of term papers..haha...the library will be packed with students at certain periods.

now i have graduated....so fast...sad to leave my friends who are doing honours. people like liyan, SG, jeanne etc..my chums. well, this is not the end of my education!! still wld like to do a post-grad degree or even degrees in other disciplines...thought of doing banking, commucation studies,..more biz-related...unlikely to be in geog...haha.think it is enuff of geog liao..haha. can't wait for next year to attend the convocation of the rest of my uni pals!!!

* listening to: '(there's gotta be) more to life' by stacie orrico

Thursday, July 22, 2004

cannot sleep

just ate a corn bun coz was feeling very hungry. my 'dinner' was at 4.30pm. ate an apple, tau-suan and a small sandwich..by the way, that was my lunch too!that's why i dun like to work in the night shifts..dinner is always during the weird hours...=S came home, feeling super hungry, was battling whether to have a corn bun or an apple..in the end, chose the former. feeling so guilty now as i sit on my chair typing this blog, and feeling the fats in my body...ewww..

damn tired now...going to wake up at 6.15am later..but cannot sleep coz i just ate..shouldn't have eat the bun..otherwise i will be sleeping soundly now..=(..me and my low resistence...*sigh*

Thank God it is bible study tomorrow!! time to be filled with the Word..hee...started to go bible study in my 3rd year..now i look forward to it weekly..=)

* listening to: 'Seasons of Love' from the musical 'Rent'

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

pondering on 'independence'

what does it mean to be independent?? not to rely on anyone? financially stable? was walking home from the busstop when this dawned upon me. many people say that i am relatively independent compared to some of their friends, but am i really? well, i can shop alone for hours, go to muscials by myself (which i have done a couple of times), watch movies alone, etc..hmm..does that mean that i am independent?

many people perceived 'independent women' to be women who are financially stable, having a rising career, able to be on equal status as men. but does a woman have to embody these 'qualities' in order to be one? hmm...frankly, we women have come a long way from 'unseen' to be seen in the public eye. women have always been thought of as belonging to the private sphere, performing the role of 'bearers of the nation'...hmm..many thoughts running through my mind now...

*listening to: 'Music Of My Heart' by Gloria Estefan featuring NSYNC

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

stagnant weight

went out with shimei today, she bought a swatch watch while i bought a sports bra. got abit depressed when i realised that i am still a size 12!! haiz...my weight (not going to publish here...) has been like stagnant for the past few months, no improvement leh....*sad* tried to cut down on carbohydrates, such as not eating rice, noodles and potatoes..but sometimes will give in like today! ate potato chips..alamak....sinful man..but thank God, only like a few of them..

man, i am still slightly overweight..need to reach the healthy weight asap otherwise cannot wear my bikini!! hehe..oops..i told the whole world..hahah...yupz, ur dear friend here actually bought a bikini from Topshop coz they had a sale a few mths back..wanted to wear and tan in the sun but dare not wear it leh...contradictory right, buy and dun wear...'cold storage' it..haiz... to me, weight has always been a problem, not from genes but from overeating when i was in my teens...back then, i was an emotional eater. as in when i feel sad or angry or stressed, i will use food for comfort. Thank God i am no longer doing that!! *grins*

me going to sign up for aerobics tomorrow and possibly take up yoga as well..need to exercise and have a healthy lifestyle. the lifestyle that we are having now will manifest its impacts when we grow older. cannot treat it as a rubbish bin and dump whatever i want. really envy those people who are able to keep their weight on the balance, not easy loh.cannot procrastinate when it comes to exercising and need to learn to 'flee from temptations'! haha...sounds biblical hor..hee...'flee from evil' actually came from the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife in the bible.

suddenly thought of those weight loss ads in the media. nowadays, i realised that there is an onslaught of such ads in the media featuring celebs..a few of them actually puts me off. namely the 'xanado pills' endorsed by stick-thin, snow white Fann Wong! i cannot believe that she lost weight by just eating those pills loh..i mean come one since when she was overweight?! she is so slim all the time.and people actually buy the Xanado pills coz Fann endorsed it! what the....the power of media to influence minds...another one is the ad by michelle saram...pls..to me she looked no diff...sometimes i really wonder those slimming ads endorsed by celebs...it's like more than 50% is based in their celebrity status. underneath these ads lie an obvious social problem faced by many women, the pressure to be slim. well, i do admit that. it's so evident in our society nowadays.our perspectives are socially constructed, the media influenced us and we in turn also influences the media.

*listening to 'All', 'I Wanna Be With You' by Avalon

Monday, July 19, 2004

getting a digital camera

was reading thru last week's 'computer times' that came with the Straits Times and they had a feature on buying digital cameras. always wanted a digicam but the thought of forking out more than $500 for it simply puts me off! but now wherever i go, i see people having one and i was like 'man..am i living in stone age or what?!'..well...digital cams certainly had brought a whole new dimension to photography. now we can edit the pictures on the spot if we find them ugly or rather, do not reflect the way we want it taken.

missed the PC show held in Singapore Expo this June but no fear coz Comex 2004 is here in late August!! hee...a good time to look at the latest IT products and of coz to search for my digicam at a good bargain. but hor, i am usually quite lost when it comes to buying IT products and i DO NOT, let me repeat again, i DO NOT like to bargain with those people selling IT stuff esp those from Sim Lim or Funan. Not that i have sth against them or what, just that i realised they tend to view consumers from a 'gendered-lens' perspective. it's like we always stereotype IT with men..u know...some, not all, think that women are not IT savvy and it just pisses me off. not that i am really good in IT, just that come on! this is the 21st century..stop this gender divide!

okies...enuff of complains..hmm...waiting to get my first pay before deciding on what kind of digital camera to buy. i am watching my expenses closely since i started working though i do pamper myself sometimes ok..hehe..cannot blame yah..oko..think i stop here. ooo..by the way, it's half day tomorrow!! *teethy grin* today was quite busy, till i got a slight headache in the evening...=(

*listening to : 'I've Got You Under My Skin' by Frank Sinatra and Bono

first blog

my first post on my blog!! *grins* it is like 1am now and i have a few more hours to go before i wake up and go to work. hmm..time passed so fast that it is monday tomorrow!! but no worries, my half day is on tues. hehe. frankly, (to whomever is reading this) dun expect me to update this blog regularly. hee..a warning first..will blog when i have the time AND energy!!..okok..me tired....night!

* listening to: 'The Way' by Clay Aiken

expression of thoughts