It's official
it's official, they are together. found out about them today from one of my friends in church who saw them holding hands together. i would be lying if i say that i am not affected by it. actually, i anticipated them to be together as a couple right from the start when he told me how they met and abt her a few mths ago. but the thing is that, perhaps i am still escaping from reality. sometimes i am really angry with God on why He did not warn me earlier about confiding too much in him. but on the other hand, i might have ignored the inner promptings. anyway, was late for church today, so thank God that i did not see them. blessing in disguise..maybe....ever since i know about them, my friendship with him took a turn...not for the better. perhaps it's my fault..i just did not wanna talk to him as much as before..dunno why..my close friends told me that i am in actual fact avoiding him. well, yah. i just do not want to hear anything about them. jealously? yes! i gladly admit it. but u know what, i am glad that i started working..at least most of my time is spent at work (dealing with all kinds of parents) and not thinking about him/them. Perhaps, it has all been planned by Him. 'Our ways are not His ways'..a verse that i clinged to whenever i feel that what i desire is not materialising. ultimately, i tell myself to trust in His ways coz He sees the big picture. i am really thankful and blessed to have my close girlfriends who encouraged,listened and perked me up when i was down these few mths. two of them actually went out for drinks with me on separate occassions and listened to me even though i was rambling away. most of all, thank goodness i have this blog! an almost-personal space for me to express my feelings at any time of the day as long as i am connected to the Internet.
just finished a conversation with him on the phone. talked abt church and work. i felt abit sour. actually din wanna talk to him, coz i am afraid that i might just cry. thank God, i didn't! but the conversatin was kept short, avoiding any potential attempts to discuss abt them. need to sleep now, have to sleep...that's when I rest totally in Christ.
*listening to: 'dreams' by Darlene Zschech
posted by Jiatine @ 11:09 PM
6 Comments:
itz official?
itz ok darlin....sometimes shit happens...i noe...and am the recipient of it sometimes too haha *hugggzzzz*
Na2
Hey Jia...everything's gonna be alrite, everything's gonna be okie! No worries k, u will get through this, and before u know it, u will meet someone 10x better! And tat will be the gift from HIM. I'm confident. And remember, anytime u need someone to talk to, I'm around yah! Luv ya lots!
Hey....dunno why we hardly talk anymore??? Perhaps we might have some misunderstandings? Was thinking of giving u more space to figure things out... We all jolly well know tat some things can never be resolved if we dont talk things out.. clarification that is... No matter how you try the "shut" away or ignore the issues, things aint gonna change... Similarly for the post you wrote above... U might go again saying "No comments" or "I'm not ready to talk abt it yet"... yah sure... you have every right to do so... but just remember... you can surpress those thots now... but one day... its gonna explode out from nowhere and u'll be back at ground zero... take a breather now... slowly sort things out... ease yr mind... and the Light will reveal before your sights...
Anyway, I hope you'll be "back on track" soon....
yah hopefully i will get over it soon...it's quite painful esp if i see that person almost once every 2-3 weeks. slipping into depression mood tomight.
Hey... just remember - learn to "forgive" yourself to release yourself....
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