Wednesday, November 10, 2004

sunlight after the rain

had an hour chat with him. I smsed to ask him about his new job and how he is coping. Did not expect a call at such a late time as he sleeps early. glad that I no longer feel disturbed when i talk to him.things have gotten back to almost-normal. But i have to admit that the intimacy we once shared can no longer be present.perhaps the problem lies with me..I am glad that we are still friends,just friends. he is happily attached now to a teacher and i can tell that he is really blessed in this current relationship. as for me, talking to him face-to-face still holds inhibition. still need time. Good news is that the sour feeling that i have during the past few mths of agony,pain and tears has gone! amen. i am so thankful that Abba Father carried me through those times. I am so glad that I confessed. Many people think that i am selfish,but no matter what, i still stick to my decision. and i am glad that I did it. the consequences that came with the action was not as disastrous as i expected to be. my take is that if our friendship is going to be eternally-broken because of my confession, then i think he is immature. surprisingly, he took it with his stride. perhaps, the confession was done via sms,hence the i could not really see his facial expressions.

there were times in church where he tried to talk to me or chat. but somehow, i avoided or simply just chat for less than 3 mins. partly coz face-face conversations still makes me feel slightly uneasy.hmm..need more time. glad that it is sunshine after the rain.

let's say if we are together,hmm...our lifestyles will conflict. as what some of my friends say, i am quite 'high maintenance' (haha..which i beg to differ!!!!!! *nodding in agreement*).maybe that's why i am still a swinging single. our outlooks in life are different esp in terms of work. a few mths back, i prayed, telling God that if it is not His will that we are together,take those thoughts away. God really intervenes at the right place,right time.

*listening to: 'Awesome In This Place' by Natalie Grant

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